Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
