Someone shit on the floor
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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