Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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