Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
