Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I AM VODKA MAN
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
