I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
