I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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