Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
