the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
