it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
