and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
