You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I love you. Go after that dick
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
