He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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