so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
