fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish my penis had an off switch
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
