i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
