It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
