hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
