The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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