3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
