so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
