I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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