Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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