people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
