I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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