that's an acceptable place to lick
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
