Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
