I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
