If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
