I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
