my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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