Buhtt sex?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize