Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
one might say we're banned from that church
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So many bounce houses so little time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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