This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
