btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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