He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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