Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
