so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
