Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
