Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
