ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
