I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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