Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
