mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
