just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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