Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
