How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just pee around me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
