Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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