you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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