The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
