Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
