And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
