i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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