so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize