People in love make me want to vomit
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
