Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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